What My Breast Implants Taught Me About Sovereignty, Soul Paths & Choice
Jun 06, 2025
I was probably 13 or 14 when I DECIDED I would have breast implants.
I saw a sexy image of a smoky eyed woman, fake breasts floating perfectly in water and it was done.
When Victorias Secret came out with their bomb shell bra I was probably first in line and I had a closet full of those things until the day finally came.
Receiving my 475cc silicone, under the muscle boobies that I had long awaited!
I had just turned 23.
There was nothing and no one who was talking me out of this decision.
I watched the surgery, multiple times on youtube & was a F*CK YES to the procedure.
Was that a full BODY f*ck yes? Absolutely not.
I was too numb to my body to hear her be like ummmmm.... hold up!
My breast implants were amazing.
I never got sick from them.
They looked incredible in bathing suits, lingerie, and nudes.
But then came a womb awakening journey sparked by the grief of losing my sister.
All of a sudden, they just didn't feel like me.
So I scheduled their removal.
The removal took about 20 minutes.
I did not have a lift.
I did not have the capsules removed.
I trusted my body to heal and integrate the scar tissue.
After the second surgery, my healing journey began.
My explant surgery was 6 years ago and I still regularly work with the scars.
Scars are not just the incision - they are the whole body impact of such radical structure changing from violent surgery. (See YT videos)
But you know what?
My fingers, my hands... are MASTERFUL at working with scars & freeze because I have spent 1000+ hours working with my own body.
These scars and the changes they made to my body created a unique opportunity for me to understand anatomy, physiology, and the interconnectedness of the body.
Because I can fully experience my own work through the self touch.
It has refined my fingertips to feel for individual threads of fascia, frozen in time from trauma or protection patterns - in ALL parts of the body.
Would I go get another set of implants? No.
But would I tell someone else they are wrong or bad for having them (OR doing any other medical procedure - elective or otherwise?) Also NO.
Because I can't fathom what that person's soul journey is.
I can't know that they will not receive massive gifts from the medical intervention, self mutilation, or contorsion of their own sacred vessel.
I am receiving the gifts of this experience in my own life every day.
Do I regret having the first surgery?
Not entirely.
I've grieved it. I've felt the terror in my tissues from the surgery release.
I've felt the shame for what I did to my body when I didn't know any better.
But I also have compassion for who I was and why the pull to have the procedure was so f*cking strong.
Even though I love supporting women avoid unnessecary surgery, I also love helping women integrate the gifts of their own experiences this way.
Even though I am vocal about my disdain for the medical system, I'm not here to judge anyone's desire or choice to leverage that system. It has it's benefits!
It's your path, beloved.
My work is here if and when you feel the calling deeper into the feminine mystery and magic within your body at any time.
xo, Caytlyn
